


Scattered Feelings

by Serfyan



Category: Norman Reedus/You - Fandom, RPF - Fandom
Genre: AU, Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Other, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Toys, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:46:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serfyan/pseuds/Serfyan
Summary: This is a non con/rape inspired fic-that is a slow burn to include Norman and the reader meeting in an au rl situation. Clearly this fic is not going to be for everyone but please be warned now that it’s not a fluff piece and there is going to be a lot of references to both rape and non con sex as well as violence-if this offends you-you don’t have to read it-it’s a way of me coping with personal experiences that have occurred in my life.





	1. Jay/You

A/N: Okay this is just a one shot that I need to write cause I’ve personally dealt with some of the issues in this fic recently and although this will be involving Norman I don’t endorse any of this fic and remember if you have been personally affected by anything that happens in this fic like I have, please seek help- don’t feel like you are alone and please feel free to leave comments and talk to me etc-I don’t expect a lot of people to read it but I’m doing this for me, as part of a healing process. 

That being said this fic will involve heavy abuse and rape as well as emotional distress and abuse so you have been warned. If you are still reading, please feel free to leave me some kudos and feedback and I will be back to normal fic writing soon. 

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“Y/N how would you feel about meeting up for a drink after work?” Your head snaps up from your paperwork as you turn around and see a small smile from one of your work friends. Your stomach turns as your anxiety hits your body in a number of ways. “I would love to but I should really get home, you know I have lots of stuff I need to get to,” you reply as you see your friend smile and place a hand on your shoulder. Just this is enough to tense your body up, as she says in a whisper only you two could hear, “You know you aren’t tied to Jay, you should be able to hang out with your friends once in a while.” 

With that you watched her walk away as your stomach churns at the thought of what Jay would say to you if you asked him if you could just go out and have fun for one night-and then the thought of what he might do to you was even worse that you shook those thoughts out of your head and carried out your duties for the rest of your shift. 

………………………………………………………..

As you walk out of work the cold night air hits your face and you check your phone as you see a few dozen messages and missed calls from Jay-the last of which was demanding you home in the next 10 minutes or else. You knew what that “or else” meant and so you began to walk quickly the familiar route to your apartment ignoring the busy nightlife of others happening around you. 

As you walk into your apartment and turn to close and lock your front door, you feel the familiar breathing behind you and turn to face him. Your so called “boyfriend” who at the start seemed like he was going to give you the world and the care and love that you so desperately craved. 

But this was not the case as you had so painstakingly found out a few months ago when you ended up having a argument over a trivial matter and you saw the change in not only his appearance but his attitude towards you.

That was the first night that the signs of abuse and jealousy started even though you were too blind by his love to see it. 

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” You look down at the floor, too scared to look at his reaction, as you begin to think of your excuse of an answer. “I’m sorry…” you begin to whisper your response. He looks at you with a menacing look on his face as he walks over to you and pushes you into the wall, causing the first of many of your physical bruises you knew you were gonna have to cover for work tomorrow. “You know what happens when you disobey me, y/n” you felt his strength hit you more as he begins to move his arm closer to your neck, pressing against it making it harder for you to breath. 

“You need to be punished,” he continued to tell you in his menacing tone that you feared and before you knew what was happening he pulled you around to face the wall and began to roughly pull on your hair, dragging you into the bedroom, ignoring your blistering cries and screams. Tears streaming down your face, he pulls your body to the foot of the bed and looks you up down like a predator that had caught his pray. 

“Kneel,” is all you hear him say and he pushes you down until you are knelt in front of him. He unbuckles his belt and roughly strips your top and your bra free from your body; whilst tying your hands together behind your back with his belt. The smooth leather hits your wrists cold and you shudder at the touch. He notices this and slaps you across the face. “It’ll be worse for you if you don’t behave,” he looks down at you with that all too familiar fearful look in his eye and you can’t help but wonder if you could try and reason with him. “I’m sorry Jay, it won’t happen again. I’m yours, only yours…” you start to say before taking the chance to look up at him. 

This costs you dearly, as he takes one look at you and begins to form his hands into fists. Shit, shit, shit. And then the punching begins as he punches you square in the face and then hits your neck. You turn your head back around to him as tears form in your eyes again and escape down your cheeks. 

“If you don’t shut your mouth I’m gonna have to shut it for you,” is all you hear between the punches being blown to you. “You’re a slut and sluts deserve to be punished. Open your mouth y/n,” As you turn your head around to face him, you slowly shake your head. “Are you disobeying my orders y/n?” He looks you square in the eye, pulling your head up to stare at you in the eye. Words escape you as you open and shut your mouth, unable to say what you were thinking. 

“Then what do you need to do, dirty girl?” He asks you sternly. You try and look down at the floor but his grip is too strong on your chin. He looks you down and that stare is all your body needs to succumb to his touch; you open your mouth as he stuffs his member deep into your mouth, making you gag and the tears well up in your eyes, as he roughly pulls your hair and works your mouth over his member. You hear the all too familiar moans escape his mouth and his breathing changing as you feel him become harder in your mouth, abusing it even more as he pushes his member through your cheeks holding it for periods of time and pushing it deep all the way down your throat, making you gag and cry out in pain, all the while staring you down intensely, working out his next move. 

Relief washes over you as he slides his member out of your sensitive mouth and his hand falls from your hair, as he hits his “happy place” as he calls it. “Get up and lay down on the bed, now,” he commands roughly to you. When you don’t move, his eyes turn dark again and he takes one of your nipples, twisting it roughly, as you cry out in pain. “You will do as I say, you dirty slut,” he screams in your ear as you feel shivers hit your body, making your body tense up even more at his touch. 

He pulls your body up and pushes you roughly down onto the bed. You cry out as the cold leather of his belt hits your back and you begin to stare him down. “Jay please I’m begging you, please don’t do this,” “What did I tell you about that mouth of yours! Looks like I’m gonna have to shut it for you again while I rip that pussy apart, that’s the only way you will learn your lesson and to not disobey me again.” 

You feel his hands roughly pull at your naked skin as he roughly pulls your legs apart. He looks at you and chuckles to himself as he pulls out a old favourite of his and as soon as it catches your eye, you tense up again. He notices and grabs your right ankle as he towers his body over you-with menacing eyes and slaps you repeatedly until the tears in your eyes cascade down across your cheeks. 

“Jay, I’m begging you-please anything but that!” You scream out until he places a hand over your mouth to shut you up. You take this as your chance to fight back and bite his hand hard down into your mouth. “Ow Bitch, how fucking dare you test me,” you hear him say as he pushes you down further down into the bed and punches you in the stomach. 

“That’s the way you want to play it-have it your way…” you hear him whisper in your ear as he places his strength on your arms and grinds his erection near your sweet spot-making you tense your body more closing up your legs in response. He looks you dead in the eye as he comes off you and heads to the forbidden corner of the room, the part of the room that you never go near cause that’s where the chest was. 

“I was going to be nice and let you off easy today-but after what you just pulled, no fucking way you are leaving my sight.” He looks over at you as you try and scramble up the bed and laughs at you as you try and fail to escape. The panic sets in your body as you see him light up a cigarette and place it to his mouth. He kneels down near the chest and opens it, picking out a random selection of what in your mind would be weapons of pain and destruction to your body, 

You feel him come closer and as you turn your head away from his gaze, you feel a burning sensation come down on your thigh as you see Jay push his cigarette onto your skin leaving “his marks” all over your thighs causing you to full on cry out in pain and fearful of what could be coming next. 

“Jay…please no more I beg you, stop…” you whisper out in a pathetic attempt to appeal to any sort of humanisation that was left in the monster that stood in front of you. But it was useless as he completely ignored your blistering cry and continued to have his way with you as he takes your ankles and use rope to tie them on either side of the bed as you struggle to break free from his grasp. “This is what happens when you disobey me y/n-now take it like the bitch I know you are,” his words drip like poison as he spits out those words to you, whilst placing a electric shocker to your sensitive area-shocking you hard that your body immediately jolts in response. “Fuck y/n,” you hear him says as you feel the shock go through your body yet again. 

Tears stream down your eyes as you feel Jay gain further control of your body, inflicting yet more pain in various ways, leaving marks all across your body; until you feel yourself check out of your own body and feel the fight leave your spirit, as he finally fucks you rough and using a rough speed, as he grunts on top of you. As he reaches his climax, he squirts his remements inside you; chuckling at the sight laid before him. 

“Get up!” He shouts at you as he finally releases you from the prison of ropes and sexual toys. You slowly make your way across to the edge of the bed, noticing that dark look in his eyes returning. 

Fuck, that look only meant one thing. 

“Since you continue to be a dirty slut-and I still don’t believe you weren’t fucking around out there, this might change your attitude…” Jay looks at you, grabs the belt and you by the arm-leading you into “the dark room”. You look up and gasp as soon as you see yourself in the mirror, catching a brief glimpse of all the marks and bruises that were all across your body. 

Tears streaming down your face, you look up at your captor as he pushes you into the room and starts to tie up your naked body, using the cable ties hidden on top of the bed. “Kneel,” is all you hear, as he grabs his belt and begins to hit your skin with it. You slowly kneel down onto the floor and look up at him with pleading eyes, hoping this would appeal to his better nature. 

“Fuck y/n, you ain’t getting out of it tonight. Don’t even try it.” Jay comes over to you and pulls your hair tight, that you start to scream out in pain. “Look at you...fuck you’re gonna make me hard again with that look y/n.” You try and look down and then you feel the cold leather of the belt on your back. You scream out in pain as he goes into a rage and keeps hitting you again and again, until you can’t help but crumble into a heap in front of him. 

“Think about what you have done…”he spits at you, sweat coming down from his forehead and hitting your back; as he walks to the door and slams it shut. You hear the lock turn from the outside and cry out in the darkness surrounding you as fresh scars appear on your body. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

As you lay there, naked and marked in ways that you could not say or explain to anyone; your imagination runs wild to what could be happening on the other side of the door. And then you hear it, the familiar sound of the door opening, the click clack of heels over the hollows of the wooden flooring and popping of the cork, signifying the opening of a new bottle of wine. 

You lay there, fresh tears falling from your face as you start to hear clothes dropping from bodies to the floor and the sounds of moans and pleasure as the realisation of the situation cascades you. You hear the moans getting increasingly louder as you hear the names being called as well as the sweet nothings being whispered out and the changing of breathing signifying the change in action and speed. 

As you hear the moans you find yourself trying to escape and forever wishing you could feel that sensation through your own body; trying to move your hands down your own body to feel your own release, but to no success. You silently cry out in anger and feel helpless that you were never going to find out what the pleasure felt like. You curl up into a ball and eventually close your eyes to the darkness….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said it’s a slow burn fic-Norman will feature in the next chapter in some form x x


	2. The morning after Jay/You/Norman

A/N: Okay you guys you wanted a part 2 here it is. Norman finally comes into this chapter and there will be a continuation but I will let you know when. If you like it then please leave me some feedback and reblog/kudos it or leave a comment. It is a slow burn fic don’t worry I do have plans but I want to make it somewhat realistic even though it is an AU. Thanks guys x x x

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Sun rays hit your naked skin as you slowly open your eyes to the light beaming into the room. You slowly untangle your body and fresh pain jumps through your body as you slowly look down your body and inspect the marks Jay had left a few hours ago. And then you hear it. The heavy footsteps ascending closer to you and your mind starts to go wild. You hear the lock turning and the creak of the door opening as you feel Jay standing in the doorway, looking at you. 

“Get up bitch,” is all you hear as you slowly try to move to stand next to the bed. You turn around so your body is in full view of him and you look down to the floor as you hear his footsteps slowly come closer to you, his breath getting heavier from looking at the sight of your dishevelled appearance. “You really are beautiful, y/n…” he whispers in your ear as his hands goes to your freshly coloured bruises and marks all over your body. You stand there, shock coursing through your veins and do nothing as you feel his hands, roughly touch your body; making you feel more violated then ever before. 

You feel the cable ties loosen as Jay finally releases you from their restrictive nature. You finally breathe a sigh of relief as he walks out of the room and leaves the door open, leaving you finally free and able to escape. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………… 

As you slowly make your way across the hall and walk into the bathroom, locking the door behind you and step into the shower, your whole body starts to relax as the hot water cascades all over your body. You stand there as the water washes away the feelings of pain and regret that were coursing through your veins as you slowly replay the events of what happened last night in your head. 

And then your mind goes to him. The only thing that at this point of your life was making your life worth living. 

Norman.

As you begin to lather up your body, your imagination goes wild with thoughts and ideas of what would happen-by an means of a miracle-that he was here with you now. Your mind races with thoughts of his hands exploring your body ever so gently and holding you so tightly and loving you the way you so desperately craved. 

Fuck. 

You scold yourself for even thinking thoughts like that. If Jay ever found out what you were thinking or even dreaming of a life without him; you could not even begin to process what torment he would bestow on you. 

Reality hits you hard as you turn off the water and the cold air hits your body, making your body shudder. You quickly dry yourself with a towel and make your way into your part of the bedroom-the part that was in full view of Jay of course so he could “peep” as he liked to call it on you as you got ready. 

You quickly choose some clothes that would cover most of the bruises and marks and then looked at your reflection in the mirror. Fresh shades of purple and blue covered your eyes and your lips were so sore and dry, you could see new cracks forming over the old ones. 

You look down and feel Jay shuffle closer to you, as he watches your every move. As you feel him come closer, your body tenses up even more as he places a hand on your shoulder and turns you around to face him. He lifts up your head and his eyes finds yours and suddenly turns darker then you have ever seen them before. 

And then you hear it, the sound of the zipper opening and before you know it, he places his member into your mouth, instantly making you gag, as you struggle to fit the whole of it in your throat. “Fuck y/n…” Jay spits out in between heavy breaths. He holds your head and pushes it roughly further down his member, making your eyes water even more. You close your eyes to stop yourself looking at him and just as you take a beat, he notices and pulls his fingers into your hair, grabbing it roughly and pulling you up. 

He pulls you to your full length mirror and turns you around ripping your clothes off your body and throwing them on the floor. “Open your eyes right now y/n!” He shouts in your ear. You shake your head and cry out in pain as he twists your left nipple to make you. As your eyes open you try and look down at the floor. “Don’t even try that trick, y/n, I want you to see and remember every little detail of last night…” 

Tears run down your face, as he lifts your head and you finally look at your full reflection in the mirror. Jay smiles an evil devil smile as you slowly come to the realisation that you were never going to truly escape what has become your life and that you have well and truly lost the battle. 

Jay turns you around to face him and your body tenses up again, as his hands travel further down south to your sweet spot. “Open your legs y/n,” “Please Jay….don’t do this. I promise I will behave myself.” You plead as his hands circle around your sweet spot area, itching to get in. 

Jay sighs and looks into your eyes, as you try and plead with him to let you go. He places one hand on his forehead and rubs it with a sigh. “Fuck y/n, did you not learn anything last night. You’re my dirty girl remember, you will do whatever I want you to do, and right now I want to fuck you…” 

And with that he tears your legs apart and pushes you to the door, raising and holding your arms above your head. More tears come rolling down your face as you feel him enter you and roughly grab your skin as he fucks you rough, causing more friction marks down your back. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good right now, y/n,” is all you hear as you close your eyes again and let him have his way with the shell of your body. 

As he reaches his climax, he releases you from his clutches and you take this chance to grab your clothes and run into the bathroom, locking the door tightly behind you. You hear Jay on the other side of the door, banging on it, cursing at you to open it, and you just end up falling to the floor sobbing your eyes out. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Fuck y/n, you wait until I get home tonight...you thought last night was bad, just you wait until tonight. How dare you defy me!” 

And with that you hear the front door slam shut and the key turn in the lock. 

You lift your head and you finally start to slowly explore your body again, feeling your back tenderly as you feel the soreness under your fingertips. All you could think was how you were going to cover this enough so people wouldn’t ask any questions. You carefully lift yourself from the cold bathroom floor and unlock the bathroom door. You tentatively walk over to the mirror and see the friction marks on your back come to light and break down as you struggle to place your top over your head to get dressed. 

As you sit down on the floor you look at your pitiful amount of makeup and curse yourself for misbehaving-you knew Jay had been through it and taken away anything that would have helped blend or cover up any marks he had made. He liked to look at how hurt you looked physically-it turned him on even more and you hated every minute of it. 

You slowly try and cover up enough of the marks and bruises so that you could at least be passable in appearance for work, but curse at yourself every time a new colour would become apparent on your skin. 

You sigh as you gather up your work stuff and then see your golden ticket-your phone. You grab it and as you scroll through the notifications and messages, you spot one that sets your heart alight. 

Fuck this can’t be real…….

An Instagram direct message from him-in response to your Instagram post that you tagged him in a few weeks ago. 

“Hi y/n, I just wanted to let you know that I loved your recent tagged post and thank you I had a great birthday! I love that you have watched all my earlier work-even though half of them were so terrible! I hope I get to meet you one day too, you are an amazing person, stay strong! NR” 

With that your fingers started just seemed to have a life of their own and started to type a message back to him…

“Hi Norman! I just wanted to say thanks, it’s really sweet that you sent me a dm, you really didn’t have to. I know that you probably won’t see this or will be too busy to read this, but I just wanted to say you have truly made my day by sending me this message. I wish I could meet you but in all reality I can not afford the ridiculous prices of the convention tickets to meet you-so the fact that you have noticed me just now will be my hope for life. Thank you so much, y/n.” 

Fuck, what have I just done! You knew Jay was going to find this message through your phone and you knew it was going to be the worst for you-but at this moment you just was on cloud nine. 

As you grabbed your keys you heard your phone buzz again and as you looked at it, you couldn’t really comprehend what it had said. 

“Awww, that’s a shame, I was really hoping to see you in London-I’m sorry I stalked your profiles a little and could tell you are in the UK. How much are they charging that you can’t come? I really want to see that cute smile of yours for real! NR” 

You stood there in shock and felt so conflicted but your body decided for you and you felt your fingers tap another reply to the message. 

“Well I’m not going to say that it isn’t flattering that you stalked my profile, but don’t you find that a little creepy? But to answer your question, yes I am from the UK and yes you would be right London would be the closest convention to me. Well ticket prices to guarantee me entry to see you would mean a gold or platinum pass, and unfortunately Mr Reedus I don’t earn enough to pay over £700 or £1200 for a ticket pass. So yeah my dreams of meeting you or Jeffrey or Steven or the rest of you is a full on pipe dream…and I can’t see a reality forming. Y/n” 

You click the lock button on your phone and manage to get out of your apartment, rethinking your reply to the last message and knowing that Jay will be absolutely livid when he finds the messages. 

As you begin your descent to work, you hear your phone buzz again and open it to find another message from him. 

“Well we can’t have that can we...leave it with me y/n...NR” 

You let out a gasp and a excited scream-you have no idea what that would actually mean, but just even messaging Norman was a dream come true, and for once in the last few months, a genuine smile comes across your face……

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed it-I’m having serious writers block atm and honestly personal issues stopped me from getting this out sooner-but I already have a part 3 planned so there will be a lot more Norman x x x


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